Our Values

Our goal is to create spaces for people interested in polyamory, BDSM, or both. We want to facilitate exchange of ideas, conversations, and mutual support.

This is only possible in a space

in which everyone present can feel good and safe,
with as little discrimination as possible,
in which consent is respected,
and which is as accessible as possible.

To create such spaces, we all have to work together.

Different people experience different forms of discrimination and thus have different needs that we want to and need to accommodate. Racism, sexism, queermisia (queerphobia), ableism, and much more are everywhere in our society. This will inevitably occur in our community as well.
Many have experienced abuse and consent violations. This is also deeply rooted in our society and we all have a lot to learn and un-learn.
We want to keep these issues in mind and make a conscious effort to change our own behavior and help each other to do so:

We give each other feedback, and we accept the feedback we receive.
We strive to improve safety for people affected by any incident.
We take harm seriously.
We continuously try to improve the situation of the community. Part of that is to regularly analyze and adapt our structures to prevent future harm.

Many spaces are not accessible for everyone. For example:

They are not adapted for wheelchair users or have other physical barriers.
They are overstimulating.
They simply are too expensive.
People may stay away from spaces because they would feel alone or alien there, e.g. BIPoC in majority white spaces, queer, especially trans, people in non-queer spaces, etc.

We want to do all we can to make our spaces as accessible as possible. We are always open to feedback and information on how to make our spaces more open and inviting. Where we can’t do that, we will provide information about the circumstances, so people can prepare and adapt.

We are not a political party, and we do not advertise a party.
But in a society like ours, our values are political, and we will promote them and work for them.

We care about the people in our community, so we are there for each other, we look after each other, and we support each other where we can.

These concepts are not new. Many of them have been discussed and demanded for a long time, particularly by marginalized people. We have learned a lot, not least from www.consent.academy, and we are building upon this large body of work.

We welcome feedback and suggestions! Please talk to us directly, or write to us at info@kitchentable.social.

We are currently working on the details of how we do this, and will publish them in the coming months. One part of this is our preliminary Code of Conduct, which we are also working on. Please feel free to send us suggestions and also information about your needs so we can take them into account ( info@kitchentable.social).